Jack Dragon, on being a dragon

2009-06-23T14:34:00.005-04:00

Back in Time, Filling in Details

I have long promised that I would go back and fill in the details to make this a complete story. Now, years later, I'm keeping that promise.

Let's start with a quick update. I am doing well, only a few scars are left to remind me of the surgery. I still have a fairly significant scar that runs down the middle of my chest, but it has faded quite nicely. As an interesting side effect, there is particular spot on my chest, the size of a finger tip, where I have no feeling what so ever. Scars where the chest tubes were inserted are also still evident. Finally, there are a couple of scars on my left leg, that are only visible if I happen to not be wearing any pants.

For this entry, my goal is to describe the first few minutes after I awoke as I remember them.

I clearly recall waking up, feeling the respirator, but being entirely at peace with the intrusion. I also remember people being in my room, people other than my daughters. The biggest surprise to me then and now is how natural and calm it all felt. I knew I could not speak so I used my right hand to spell the names of my daughters in the air. Upon recognizing that I was signally, someone left the room to fetch them. I do not know if they read what I was spelling, but I doubt it.

Soon enough my daughters were in the room and it seemed like it wasn't long before the medical staff took me off the respirator as well. That process was surprisingly easy. I can only guess that the drugs they had me on kept me calm, because it all seemed so peaceful and serene. I remember being very happy to see my daughters and at the same time worried that I must have been a very scary site. I do not recall any pain from those first few hours.

That is all for this post, I plan to go into the time in the intensive care next.

2007-06-26T18:13:00.000-04:00

The Dragon wakes and lashes out at whatever's nearest...

I'm awake again, by your puny human terms it was a long sleep this time, what a year maybe? Six months perhaps? It was a mere cat nap in my lifetime, nothing more than the human equivalent of sleeping off a big meal. But I awoke with a fury that only a dragon could have. An anger at my human companions and an even greater anger at myself for having human companions.

Why should a dragon have companions, friends if you will, that aren't also dragons? Are we not fooling ourselves that we can be friends to them and they to us? Isn't there something fundamentally incompatible about a dragon; an immense, fearsome, wise and immortal being befriending a human. A human with their mortality and humanity crammed into a soft package of emotions.

Why should we have anything in common, and why should I, a dragon, look upon a human as something I want as a companion? More to the point, why should a human want something immense, ageless and probably by their terms soul-less as a companion?

And I want to be fair to humans for a second here, isn't it not that humans aren't fit companions for dragons, but rather that dragons aren't fit companions for humans. What human wants to be around something so arrogant and righteous as a dragon? We preside over humanity like we are gods, though we know we are not. Immortality is just a cloak of godliness that disguises that curse of an unending life.

So I, dragon of dragons, realize that I'm just fooling myself with my human companions. It is no longer possible for me to separate their friendship from their fear of my wrath should they disagree with me. And I betray myself with my 'need' for humans as companions. For in the end when they walk from my lair, whether for a day or eternity, it hurts me. And it angers me that I should be hurt by this. For I am the wise, and the immortal; I should be able to give without taking and my pain is a betrayal not just to myself, but to humanity.

I say this and watch as my scribe trembles with the words he types. But, alas I know not if I have the strength and resolve to take steps to return to my solitary dragon ways. And though my great wisdom tells me I should not, must not, need these humans around me, my heart hurts at the thought of the loss.

Any why should a dragon need mortals more than mortals need a dragon?

2007-06-26T16:41:00.000-04:00

The Dragon is awake again, be afraid, be very afraid....

More later,

Jack

2006-07-05T10:05:00.000-04:00

Back from a long sleep...

For anyone paying attention, the dragon has reawakened and is back posting again. But, you probably figured that out already. So, where've I been? Sleeping, just sleeping. More on the specifics later.

Now since my little corner of the internet is not often read by fellow dragons, I should explain something at this point. See, I imagine a lot of you, if there is even a lot of you out there reading, wonder how is it that I can just slumber away six months of my life. Well it's really not so difficult you see we dragons live forever, mostly; and when one lives forever 6 months is a really short time. And quiet honestly, for the average human it doesn't seem to change much in their life either. When I catch up with the few humans I care about (which means humans I don't plan to eat anytime soon), I find that often their lives are just as they were before my slumber.

Now I do have to say that my scribe, Jack Scribe, seems to be the exception to this rule. Often six months or a year is enough to entirely turn his life upside down. As an example, it wasn't 15 months ago that he had never acted in his life. Now he's been in a few shows in community theater and is thicker than thieves with several actors. Most recently, it seems that in the six months that I've been sleeping ol' Jack Scribe has once again discovered his mortality. He's about to go in for some surgery and sometimes I catch him actually moping about this and that. The thing is that I know he is so mean an ornery (that's what I like about him) that he'll be around for just about forever. As a result it's just a bunch of melodrama on his part; did I mention he's an actor now? ;)

But, I haven't really gone into any details as to why I've been off sleeping; a six month nap not exactly being normal for me. Well let me just say that I've recently learned a bit of a life lesson: one needs to be careful when he puts all of his eggs in one basket. There are those amongst us who put 100% of our effort into a job, hobby, spouse, family or something else along those lines. Sadly, I think it is often the job that gets 100%, but that's a discussion for another day. The beauty of such a single minded focus is in the focus. It's amazing what one can achieve if he puts all of his living breathing effort into one thing. But the darker side is that this focus had better work, because if we screw up that one thing, we've just messed up our entire lives.

And this brings me back full circle to my recent long nap. See, I did exactly this, put all my eggs in one basket. This particular basked was the search for my parents, or at least some sign of my parentage. After spending months in the search, I came across one dead end after the other. Finally, with no more options or ideas open to me, I gave up the search and promptly fell into my slumber. I have only now come out of this slumber and spent some time, in my lair, re-evaluating my life as a dragon.

Which leads me to the last and most important point I intend to make in this particular post, an apology to my scribe. Jack Scribe is more than just a scribe to me, he is my friend. This is a word that I do not use casually, and I am not too proud to admit that Jack Scribe is the closest of friends. This despite the fact that I am an ancient dragon, and he is a human. See, in addition to being my friend, Jack sometimes helps me in procuring food. By this I mean, he has lured um...other humans...To my lair. This is something he is particularly good at, and he does it to make me happy in spite of the fact that it makes him depressed and sad. I realize now that, though he may be the perfect person for the task, I must separate our friendship from my search for food, even if this means I go hungry for a while. It can only make our friendship stronger. So this is for you Jack; I'm sorry and I will gladly go hungry for ten years before I will ask that of you again.

Not planning to wait six months for another update,

Jack Dragon

2006-01-26T12:44:00.000-05:00

My Scribe speaks...

This is a very short post to introduce my scribe's blog. He thinks he has things to say too, so he's created his own blog: Jack Dragon's Scribe. There is a link in the upper right.

Read and enjoy, but if you message me to tell me his is better, I will hunt you down and eat you, slowly.....

Have a nice day,

Jack Dragon

2006-01-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

Parent and Child, Child and Parent....

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I've been gone a long time. If you missed me I'm sorry, really sorry; I missed writing to my blog and what few fans I have. If you didn't miss me, it doesn't matter, I'd just as soon eat you as write a blog post for you.

I've been off in a long a fruitless search for my parents. More on that a little later though there is nothing much to tell. And my scribe, who I am rather fond of, otherwise he would have been a snack a while ago, well he's been off pursuing a non-career in community theater. I say non-career because he and I both know all he's doing right now is gaining experience. He's got a lot to learn yet about acting and such so I really don't want to squash his enthusiasm. So I put up with his absence, just as he must put up with me, both present and absent.

And yes, if you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm a bit bitter. Not just typical dragon bitter, a couple levels above that. See, I've been off on this search for my parents and I've come to a raging dead end. A dead end before I even began. I can not find the cave where they lived when I was born and I can not find thier trail from there. I've spent so much time in the area, that people are starting to believe I exist and that makes things difficult. So I will need to take a few months off the seach and rethink things.

And this all makes me bitter. Bitter because I can't find my parents. Bitter because I can't just ask around and look at archives like you people can. And bitter because I don't even know what I'm looking for or why it's so stinking important to me. Honestly, it's not like my parents raised me or anything.

But, I have had time to think, and I can answer those questions now. I know what I am looking for and I know why it's important. I just need to know that I was something more than a nusance, a thing that casued trouble for them. I need to know that I mattered to the two dragons that brought me into the world. And if that's not the case, I guess I need to know that so I can deal with it. And I will deal with it, but first I must find them, or some sign of them that can answer my questions. It is simply what I must do.

2005-11-30T00:23:00.000-05:00

Back from some time away...

Quick post from this dragon, with promises of a longer post in the days to come.

I've been off on a so far fruitless search for my parents. My scribe has also been 'away' pursuing his 'career' as an actor in community theater. Though I do not like it when he leaves me scribe-less for so long, he did pretty good. As good as someone with a bad voice can do in a musical . He even received some critical acclaim. Here's my favorite: "Jack's scribe has a voice that would make a baby cry, but he had a great time with it. Much of what was missing in the rest of the cast was this kind of fun and energy so vital to comedy. " And then there is this: "The best work comes from the people who get to do short spurts. Jack's scribe bursts in for
some quick laugh-getters...". Overall, he did well and I am happy to have him back scribing. I would even pat him on his little head, but last time I did that he had to go to the doctor.

I was off in search of my parents. More specifically, I was searching for the motion where I was born. As I noted earlier, I think I've found the village nearby, but the mountain it's self has been a little elusive. There are a few candidates in the area, but I am having trouble narrowing it down to just the one. Once I figure that out, I will have to do some scouring to find the cave or den where I was born. I expect that to provide some clues that I might follow to where my parents went next. It's been frustrating so far, but when one is immortal, time doesn't matter. If it takes another 100 years to track them down, I will be happy.

And with that I am off to take a long dragon nap. I am working out some issues in my head, and sleeping seems to help me with that. I am near to putting a long standing issue to rest, and that will free me up to grumble about a lot of other things. I always like the free feeling I get when I finally move something out of my mind and into a few bits of treasure in my hoard.

Off to dream, maybe I'll see you there too...

Jack Dragon

2005-11-08T14:37:00.000-05:00

Answering some questions...

I've been away for a bit again, more parental research, but I did have time to quickly reply to a couple reader questions. More on the parental research in a later post.

How many genes determine coloration in dragons? Are you red or green or brown?

I am red, though I don't know if I've yet mentioned that. I'm not sure about the genetics of it all, but one would guess that red was a dominant gene. I can tell you this much, and you can help me figure it out, dragon colors are absolute, they are either red or green (or black or whatever), but never a mix of colors or a shade between color.

Did you visit the mountain where you were born?

You'll have to keep reading to find that out. I am sure it will get covered one way or the other.

More late,

Jack

2005-11-02T14:12:00.000-05:00

Searching for an old dragon's roots...

I've said little about my parentage in this blog, mainly because they left me quite young to fend for myself. That's a hard thing to say, and a pretty rough way to start life. It is, sadly, pretty much standard dragon child hood. I suppose it's another reason why there aren't so many of us left. The smaller, dumber and weaker dragons often get themselves killed long before they reach maturity. Some might say I'm lucky to have come this far, but I don't think luck as much to do with it. Lucky seems to be how we like to characterize the life of others.

Until this moment, I have never mentioned or let on that some of my long absences as of late have had a purpose other than sleeping off the grouches and depression that I so often fall into. Rather, I have been searching for my parents, or at some sign of my roots. There comes a time in a dragon's life when he just needs to know where he came from. For some this is just a curiosity, but for me it has become an obsession as of late. And it's been an obsession with me that I am pretty sure will just lead to disappointment and sorrow. I want to find my parents, but more importantly, I need to know that I wasn't just some nuisance left behind in some dark cave somewhere. What scares me, and dragons aren't often scared, is that I mind find out that a nuisance left in a cave is exactly what I was to them. Though at this point, I just want to know, I can deal with the pain latter. Finding out is the mother of all hope or dread moments for me.

So given that I don't know where I am from, it's a hard path to trace. As near as I've figured the best place to start is the beginning, the place I was born. Problem is, I don't know where I was born, except for memories of a mountain and an ocean. So much of the land has changed that it is almost impossible to retrace my footsteps even if I had did have a good memory of the early times. I decided instead to zero in on mythology with the understanding that in the time proceeding my birth my parents, two mature dragons lingered in the same place for many months at a time.

Since Mexico was my best guess as to where I was born, I started there. I spend many days looking through books with the local mythology, and then I spent many more days flying from village to village and listening to local folk lore and legends. Sometime I would hear something promising, but none of it ever panned out into a true lead. And then when I was nearing exhaustion, I overheard and very old story of two great dragons that long ago settled not far from a little village by the Gulf of Mexico. One was a great Red dragon who breathed fire, the other a smaller, less terrifying green dragon.

As the legend goes these two dragons swooped in from the ocean one day and laid waste to much of the fishing village, indiscriminately eating villagers and the fish they had brought in from the sea. After days of this, the flew off towards a great mountain which overlooked the village to the northwest. The villagers heard nothing for days as they began to rebuild their shattered and burned houses. After a week, the red dragon returned flying low over the village, but not stopping. Later that same day they saw smoke to the Southwest. Out of the smoke the red dragon flew towards them, his massive claws closed around two terrified cows. He flew off towards that same mountain.

For many months this pattern continued; red dragon flying out and returning with food which could be livestock, fish and often enough people, screaming and crying in unrelenting crush of the dragons great claws. After more than a year the raids stopped all together. All was silent and quiet. One clear and cloudless morning a sharp eyed villager spotted the two dragons again. They flew out over the village and then went back to circle the mountain several times before heading out over the land to the west. They never saw the dragons again, and no one was ever so brave as to venture up to the mountain. After many years their lives returned to normal, the story forgotten except for in the legend that had passed down through the generations.

And that was a good start to my quest....

Jack Dragon.

2005-10-23T02:13:00.000-04:00

Life's Ups and Downs and the median that runs though all lives...

Ol' Jack's been away for a while, more sleeping in the lair, plus a little problem with an unavailable scribe. He needn't worry though, I won't be eating him anytime soon. He's amongst the few humans I call friends and that makes his far to valuable to eat. But in my last few days out of the lair, I've been reminded of a little incident that happened in my life at one time. No details on the incident, so if you are looking for juice go somewhere else.

One of the philosophies I live by is that there is a median happiness level that runs through all lives. That is, there is a certain amount of goodness and love that comes into all lives. What changes is the specifics and the levels of happiness. Some people live their lives close to the median. They have a little bit of happiness and very littles unhappiness to balance the equation. Then there are others that see mountain peaks and deep valleys in their happiness. But again, it all equals out, you get the valleys with the mountains, or you live in the flatlands. I hope you all are following.

But, you see this dragon is one that has seen the peaks of those mountains and I'm here to tell you that I can't live with out 'em, even if I have to explore the darkness of the valleys. And this leads to what sometimes may seem like a wreckless way of looking at life. I play with fire, I get burned, I move along.

So back to that incident, and there are no details forthcoming, just vagaries. This dragon gets himself into a situation, that he knows will probably end badly. Now there are chances it wont' and he trys to push things in a safe-ish direction, but the bad ending is never less than a good possibility. But the situation is very pleasant and makes him feel good, not just good but damn happy to be alive. So he pushes down that road, enjoying every minute while he can, but looking for the washout that is going to send him over the edge of a cliff. And the washout happens and he goes over the cliff and finds himself all beat up and bloody at the bottom of a cliff wondering 'what the hell was I thinking'.

Then the dragon slumps off and sleeps away a few months in his lair and comes out with a different perspective. Did the crash suck, yes? But, he has those memories, uncommon memories that most people and dragons will never have in their lifetime. And they may not make the crash entirely worth it, but they makes things not so bad. For once we've seen the view from the top of the mountain it's pretty darn hard to live life in the flatlands.

And this all doesn't mean that this dragon will be bounding up any mountains anytime soon. But it doesn't mean he regrets the mountains and valleys in his past. Or maybe he regrets the valleys, but accepts the fact that he chose those regrets.

And now I go to sleep off the dark mist rising from the valley...

Jack Dragon

2005-10-11T15:01:00.000-04:00

Absent individuals and my dreams...

Before I plunge in to another post let me say that I know yesterday's post was full of venom, bile and bitter anger. This is me not apologizing for what I said, but rather promising that I will try to keep that stuff to myself a bit more. It builds up over time and then I spew it out and do I feel better? Not really, but I guess it needed to come out for whatever reason. This particular episode was triggered by my dreams

We dragons dream just like people do, or at least we dream. I guess it's impossible to say how anyone dreams is similar to someone else since a dream may be the one true individual experience that can not possibly be shared. At any rate, we dream. And sleeping a lot can lead to a lot of dreams. For me, my dreams fall into one of three broad categories almost 100% of the time: Traveling, usually with family or friends; recurring dreams that could be about anything; dreams about people who are absent from my life. Traveling dreams are generally just mental candy. I don't think they mean much, and they don't bleed into my waking hours.

recurring dreams are a different story. It's not just with me, but with most dragons and people recurring dreams are the subconscious mind trying to tell us something. Sometimes it's a message, sometimes it's anxiety, often it's both. I've found that once I 'solve' the problem the dreams go away. I haven't had a recurring dream in a while.

And then there are the absent people dreams. I can't say whether these are 'normal' though I don't know anyone else who has experiences close to mine. Some of these dreams are just sad, involving people in my life who have passed away. Often they are there and everything is fine until I realize that they have in fact died. And then the dream falls apart usually with me in tears. Yes dragons cry, though in this case we're talking dream tears. While these dreams are disturbing and sad to me, they still aren't the problem.

There are other people who are absent from my life for reasons other than death. People who are absent from my life, but still present in the world, present in places where I might find them if I chose to look. Now the reason for these absences are usually sad and tragic, but these are all worthy of posts all to themselves. But the dreams, that's what kills me.

Picture if you will that perfect friendship, where everything is comfortable and hanging out with the other person is just always just 'right'. The kind of friendship that makes one feel better just when the other one is nearby. So something happens, and the friendship goes away, but it leaves behind a lingering pain which eventually dulls until only the scars remain. Alls right with the world again, or at least as right as it's going to be. And then that friend comes back in dreams and in the dreams everything is 'right' again.

So we wake up, and the scars ache and all I really want to do is go back to sleep again, to find that place and stay there. If it were only that easy, I might never leave the quite sleeply place in my den. But, after these dreams sleep is just dreamless and empty.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

T.S. Elliot...

2005-10-10T09:34:00.000-04:00

Problem dragons and my unrecoverable faith in humanity, bitterness ahead...

I need to preface this post by explaining a little about what passes for Dragon shape shifting. I said earlier that I wouldn't go into details, but I feel it necessary to flesh in a bit of the details at this time. The reason for this will become apparent shortly. Dragons do not shape shift, though they have a sort of active camouflage which works something like human stealth technology. It makes us look very different, but also much smaller in a sort of optical illusion way. This is coupled with the minds need to see something that works with pre-existing perceptions. The final bit is a passive "mind nudge" we use to reassure the mind that it is in fact seeing a human rather than a massive, scaly and angry beast.

I assure you it works suprisingly well except among the very young, the insane and other dragons. The very young don't categorize too well and lack the mental capacity to be nudged. They generally are not a problem as they haven't finished their mental catalog of what's scary yet and as a result find us more interesting than frightening. The insane have similar issues in that their brains don't work quite right. Fortunately even if they are scared or in awe of our presence, everyone else just sees another facet of their insanity. Sorry about that crazy people. Other dragons can be fooled, but if they are looking for dragons they will find them regardless of what methods are employed.

Now ol' Jack's been having a rough go of it lately, so please excuse me for the mistakes I have made. You see the two individuals who have as of late been responsible for my loss of faith in humanity are in fact dragons. Yes, I know I should have figured this out much earlier, but quite honestly I've taken to spending more and more time sleeping in my trove as of lately without much ambition to do much else. The few waking hours I have had were less than lucid. So it was that it finely dawned on me to check these two out, and it was as I suspected, a couple of well camouflaged dragons. Does this make me lose faith in my fellow dragons? No, not at all. As a whole we dragons are dark, bitter, and mean. I don't expect much from my fellow dragons and that leads to much less disappointment.

Now that all said, one would expect that I would regain my faith in humanity, but I haven't. Humans are generally self centered little balls of ego that spend more time pretending to care then they do in actually caring. They make stupid decisions for stupid reasons despite all the signals that tell them to do otherwise. And then they get all surprised and depressed when things don't turn out how they planned. Well duh, people. Diogenes wouldn't even bother getting his lantern out in today's world.

You know I'm far from perfect myself, and I've made mistakes. Big, dragon sized mistakes, but at heart I always try to do the right thing. And I've paid my price and been punished more than I deserved for these mistakes. I can accept this, it hurts, but at least I was in the wrong when I got punished. But when I genuninely go way out of my way to do some good and still get kicked in the maw, that's where I draw the line. What the hell is wrong with dragons? What the hell is wrong with people? Can we no longer see a good deed? Can't we see it when someone has genuinely tried to help?

Is it so damn necessary to makes others pay for their good deeds as well as their bad? Maybe we all need to forget what's in it for us and think about society for just a moment. Or maybe I just need to go to my cave and sleep away a couple of centuries. The world won't miss this one dragon, and this dragon will miss only a very small part of this world.

I'm extra bitter at the moment and my dragon bluntness is coming out. I've taken to dreaming again, and these dreams have been bitter sweat almost to the point of physical pain. When I can no longer hide in slumber, I get real grouchy. More on the dreams in a later post. That is, if I haven't already alienated what few readers I have.

Jack the dark and bitter dragon

2005-09-26T15:17:00.000-04:00

Returning to Questions asked but never answered...

This old dragon still has a serious issue with faith in humanity stuck in the back of his dusty brain, but we aren't going there now. I fear that if I spew out what I am thinking I will permanently taint my relationship with humankind and I don't want that to happen. Maybe after I calm down just a bit, I can write about it, but for right now I might just go on a rage and eat a couple of humans guilty only of straying too close to an angry and disillusioned old dragon.

So I have decided that today is a good day to go to the mail bag as it were. I was asked several questions weeks ago, but have up until now ignored these questions. That is a Dragon's prerogative after all. For some reason people never get too insistent with me anyway. Hmm, I wonder why. And now on to the questions:

So seriously, though, a historical question: is there a dragon-like being in Incan mythology?

Yes, and she's not just mythological. Her name is Mama Pacha and the Incans saw her as something like your mother nature. They thought she helped them with their crops and ensured good growing seasons. They also think she created earth quakes when she was mad. To be honest I am not sure where the helping with crops bit came from, but there were various dragons that caused earthquakes or at least what appeared to be earthquakes. Sometimes we do that when we are just moving around with out much care.

And this leads to another question, given the Incan dragon snobbery: Where are you from, originally?

Hmm, tough question to answer that one. My parents pretty much abandoned me at birth. I only remember being in a mountain near by a great ocean. I wandered quite a bit and ended up spending a lot of time through what you call Central America. My best guess is that I am from some where in Mexico, but I really can't say for sure.

We have heard much of your treasure trove. What is in it?

Wow, getting personal now, aren't we? Or maybe you just didn't realize that to a dragon his treasure trove is about as personal as you can get. Few people ever see one and live to tell about it. Now some dragons actually do have gold, silver and jewels as their treasure, but then again some are much more sentimental. Mine has some 'valuables', probably enough to make any human very wealthy, but it is more mementos. Things that remind me of dragons, people and places. Portraits, shells, skeletons, armor, weapons, books, furniture, paintings; even a few photographs and old notes.

How do you get your treasure?

I pretty much collect it and have collected it over the years. I don't generally steal it if that's what you are asking, though I lot of it has come in the form of gifts and tributes. The honest gifts mean more than tributes out of fear, but I collect them all just the same.

Do dragons trade treasure with one another?

Generally no, though we do often gift treasures to one another. Often we just keep what we have in our own hoards. It is very rare when we even let another dragon see our hoards.

Have there been great dragon wars over treasure?

Have you been reading Tolkein again? No, never any dragon wars at all, much less wars over treasure. Dragons are solitary beings so it would be pretty much impossible to get enough of us together to actually have a war. Plus we try not to attack one another, there aren't many of us left. On the hand, some dragons, the greedier ones, have fought over treasure especially after another dragon dies. But, we don't like to talk about.

And that is all for today. Maybe tomorrow we will get back into my feelings on humanity.

Jack Dragon

2005-09-22T21:01:00.000-04:00

Desperately trying to keep faith in humanity, er, I mean Of books and covers...

First allow me to apologize for my absence. I realize that to anyone who might care what a dragon has to say, waiting days and even weeks to see if I will post again must get irritating and frustrating. I apologize for this, and do not excuse my absence except to say that I have been off trying to help others. And let me just say, I do not leave without saying goodbye though that happens to me often enough. I will always return to my blog until I tell you otherwise.

And one more important item before I launch into the rant of an old and tired dragon. An interesting young lady has agreed to create a portrait of me. It is in the works, actually I think it is done, but I have not yet seen it. It's quite possible she's worried I might eat her if I don't like it. That happens when you deal with dragons. Well Karys dear you are a unique and interesting individual and as such are not eating material. Sorry if this disappoints you. Regardless of how I feel about the portrait, you have reinforced in this old dragon that a great book does not need an ordinary cover.

And there I am off my intended rant and onto something entirely new. There is plenty of time to desperately try to keep faith in humanity. I've spent years and years doing as much and it seems that's where I always remain, just trying to keep faith. Sometimes I have faith and then something comes along and knocks me on my big scaly ass. And yes I am bitter though I try not to be. It seems that so very often when I find that human who I think exemplifies every ideal of humanity I end being disappointed or worse yet, betrayed. And betrayal stings even if I sometimes eat the betrayer. But, I've gone off on a tangent from my tangent which returns me to the original topic, and that is not the topic for today's entry.

So back to my tangent topic, of books and covers. As you've probably guessed it's based on the cliche "you can't judge a book by its cover". I agree with this in spirit, but I hate how it seems to be embodied. If I see somebody who looks stupid, but is really smart, saying "well you can't judge a book by it's cover" just means this person really does look stupid but he's not. In reality maybe I should reevaluate my idea of what makes somebody look stupid in my eyes. And of course the reason nobody does this is because they would soon learn that there is no particular look that makes someone stupid, smart, rich, poor, optimistic, pessimistic, pragmatic, well schooled, street smart or anything else.

Now with that said, there are sometime cues, but even these can be misleading. Somebody always wears nice close, maybe they have money, maybe they are smart shoppers, or deeply in dept. Somebody has crappy clothes, same story applies. You really can't tell without knowing the person better and even then you may not know. Some people live in nice houses, drive nice cars and have great clothes because they are wealthy or highly paid, other's live the same lifestyle through borrowing and credit cards. Unless you are privy to their tax returns it is impossible to tell the two apart.

So then let's move on to other things; hairstyles, tattoos, piercing to name a few. And let me just say we dragons don't do such things because we have no hair and it's really hard, almost impossible actually, to pierce our skin with a piercing or tattoo needles. But this isn't about me its about you humans and your strange habits and strange expectations resulting from these habits. So let's take a simple tattoo, though piercing and hairstyles work the same way with less permanence. And that tattoo can be an expression of one's self, a reminder, a memento, or just a silly way to try to look tougher or more hip than you are. The same is true for piercing and hairstyles.

And there's more, or less if you will. Let's go back in time, to explore the roots of these expressions. Now hairstyles have never been especially painful, but they have required more time, but hairstyles don't mean much since they can always be changed. Piercing used to require a needle, some ugly pain and a good chance of infection. Now they can just be snapped in with a gun. It doesn't require someone with the inner strength and determination that should be necessary to take an the outward expression that piercing used to be. And the same is true with tattoos, now done with electric sterile needles. Once they were done over hours, even days with bone chisels and blinding pain.

So the problem is that half the people out there with tattoos and piercings are just poser wankers who think they look cooler to other people. They think they express individuality, but without the thought and determination they don't express much more than a shallow compulsion. And careful before you read the wrong thing here. I am not saying that such things are always shallow compulsion, not at all. Just that they can be and that unless we talk to the person it is impossible to care. And I can tell you that returning back to the person who started this rant, this old dragon has certified her own piercings and worthy of one dragon's praise.

And before I sign off this latest installment of dragon ravings let me offer some advice to all those out there who might be thinking about tattoos or piercings. First, if you are the human equivalent of a dragonling, don't do it. You are probably too young to know what you really want done to your body for a lifetime. And whether you are an adult or just ignoring my first bit of advice, here's rule 2; think about it, think about it, wait a month and think about it, wait a year and think about it some more. If you still want to get it done and haven't changed your mind over this time, you probably have put enough thought into. Spend another month imagining that tattoo and how it will look in 10, 20, 30, and 40 years and how you will look as well. Hint: a cute little flower that draws attention to your flat stomach at 20 will probably be an abomination at 60. And now I'm going to get a little sexist and add one more rule, if you are a man have it done like a man. If you want a pierced ear, do it yourself. If you want a tattoo, look into getting one done with a bone chisel the old fashioned way. Own the pain and you will own that tattoo.

That is all, most of this advice will be ignored anyway.

Jack Dragon

2005-09-08T11:08:00.000-04:00

Back to those chairs again, Friendship

Allow me to apologize to anyone tracking this Dragon's ramblings for not posting in a while. I was locked away in my lair once again, not really moping, or pining per se, just enjoying some solitude. I was hiding from the knowledge that the sun would not be coming out. Sometimes it is easier to avoid looking at the sky rather than having a look and confirming the worst. Ah we dragons are peculiar creatures, but living forever will do that to a being. While I am in apology mode, I know that one of my loyal fans has more questions for me, these will be answered in due time, but not in this particular post. A dragon's gotta follow his heart, and this post is what my heart is pounding about.

So let's talk about those two chairs in the house for friendship. Why only two? Don't friends come in multiples? The answer is simple; yes friends can come in multiples, but true friendships are one on one and thus require exactly two chairs. Sure you can be friends with a particular group of people, but in the end each relationship with each person in that group is a separate entity. Some are friends, some are acquaintance some just run in the same circle of friends. But, none of them are truly friends unless you have something one-on-one between the two of you.

I am not one who tosses the word friend around lightly either. Friendship involves a unique bond between two individuals. Someone you occasionally see and exchange platitudes with is probably not a friend. Rather, friendship requires a deeper understanding on one another and a bond of trust that is not easily broken.

As a dragon my friendships are few and far between. Partly because eating people on a regular basis makes one a bit unapproachable. But, also because I don't allow most people close enough to form the bond of trust. See we dragons are heavily armored and thick skinned both physically and emotionally. It ain't easy to get by either skin and that's just fine with me. I think that for those that do befriend a dragon it is almost always a deeply rewarding experience though I recognize that is pretty vain of me to say so, but true none the less.

Being an immortal creature I see friendships as transient. This comes from the fact that all of my mortal friends will eventually die, though often they lose interest in dragon things before that happens. Some friendships are long lasting and indelible. Though rare, these friends be gone from my life for years at a time and pick right back up where we left off upon their return. More common are friendships where-in each friend fills a need that the other has at that time in their lives. Some of these develop into life long friendships others fade away once the purpose is served. I do not consider these lesser friendships, rather they are what they are.

I have yet to talk about the single chair and the three chairs, that will come in later posts. I also promise to answer those question posed by one of my readers some time soon. But I am a dragon and I do what I please, so that will come when it comes.

Jack -it is what it is- Dragon

2005-09-02T11:42:00.000-04:00

Feeling Strangely Fine

This is a quick and short post, though there will be more later. Today I awoke feeling strangely fine which is actually the title of a CD by Semisonic. I am not sure why I have this warm, fuzzy buzz about me 'cause things aren't going so great for ol' Jack. But we will go with it and see where it takes us. More later.

Jack

2005-08-31T23:40:00.000-04:00

Questions about my vacation:

Well I was going to launch into more ramblings on the three chairs in my house, er den, but then I was reminded by a loyal reader than I haven't talked much about my vacation. By way of explanation I should explain that I went through a few rough spots, to put it mildly, almost right after vacation, so I neglected my blog, hell I neglected everything, and when I started posting again I was a bit more inwardly looking rather than picking up where I left off.

At any rate, my loyal reader asks:
"But I'm dying to know what, exactly, (you) did in the Andes? What does a dragon take on vacation, other than a book? Does he pack? Take some of his horde? How were Andean dragons different from where Jack was from? Is dragon culture universal?

These are all quite good questions, and I will try to answer each as best I can. I was in the Andes for the better part of a week, hanging around the area where the Incan empire was once centered. I should note that we dragons love being around the odd bits left over from old cultures. Like humans, we too grow nostalgic, but given our longer life spans there is rarely anything outside our treasure troves that can help us bask in the glow of our nostalgia. But, in a place like the Andes, where the Incan culture thrived when we were much younger, there we can smell, taste and feel the days gone by. So what did I do in the Andes? For the most part I visited old familiar places I remembered from earlier days. It is always bittersweet to go back, but sometimes I can lay quietly amidst a particular ruin late at night when nobody is around, close my eyes and transport myself back to those earlier days. That's what I spent most of my time doing, that and looking for other dragons which are quite scare throughout the world these days.

I suppose I never stopped to think that dragons were so much different from humans when it came to vacations. After all a vacation is a way to get away from home and that we all have in common. That said, we dragons do not take sunscreen, bugspray, clothes and all manor of what you call toiletries with us on trips. Rather, we usually just take books (yes I like to read), and maybe something nostalgic from our treasure trove. I brought several books and a photo graph of myself and someone who was once a close friend. For the return trip I took a few extra bauble for my treasure trove, but nothing more. We dragons pack light.

Are Andean dragons different? Well quite honestly all dragons are unique in ways far beyond what humans consider unique. That said, we generally have a lot in common too. We our immense, brooding creatures who prefer solitude. This does make it difficult to find other dragons, but it takes a dragon to find a dragon and I managed to scrape up one or two in my trip to the the Andes. There is a bit of a culture amongst Andean dragons that might be hard to explain. Most of them lived throughout the Incan empire and experienced the history that lead us to the present day. They have a certain snobbery about how things were way back when and consider the current human 'civilization' to be ugly and distasteful. This tends to color all of their conversations and makes even another dragon tire of their company pretty quickly. They did have some very nice treasure troves though, some that even humans would appreciate.

I hope I answered most of the questions asked and not asked, but to anyone reading this, please feel free to question or comment all you want. One thing a dragon has is plenty of time.

2005-08-30T11:55:00.000-04:00

Solitude, Companionship, Community

Way back when I was still a young dragon I used to spend some time with what humans would call a grandfather. Now this is generally quite unusual since we dragons don't do the family thing so well. As a result it is especially unusual for a dragon to actually know another dragon two generations in any direction on his family tree. But, I did no my grandfather and he was a dragon to be admired. The whys of that shall wait for another day.

Sadly my grandfather died when I was still young in dragon terms. It was the first of four great losses that would profoundly effect my life as a dragon. The fourth of these is so very recent that the scar is still swollen, angry, and painful to touch. As for my grandfather, he left behind a serious of journals describing his last few years as a dragon. It was these journals that would be my inspiration for this blog, though I still do not know who it was that scribed them. Dragons can't use pens or pencils on account of our great paws and all. I imagine he hired a scribe who disappeared not long after his death. But that doesn't matter at least not now.

There was so very much wisdom in those journals, that it made my big dragon heart all the heavier with loss and regret. Among this wisdom, I culled some of the best and memorized it as best I could. And today the wisdom I intend to share is this; "I have three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for companionship, and three for community." which is a paraphrase or a restatement of something Thoreau said: "I have three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, and three for society." I can't tell you why my grandfather rephrased it or even if it was he or my flawed memory which changed the wording, but I have always gone by the non-Thoreau wording and that is what I shall post on today.

We all (dragons and people) live lives mixed with some combination of these three social groupings; solitude, companionship and community. I believe that the balance we strike between the three paints are lives and creates the setting for the story we play out over our lifetimes. I also believe that a balanced mix of the three inecessaryry for mental and emotional health. This from a dragon who often sleeps away months of his life, probably not the best litmus test for mental health. I have so very much to say on this topic, more than I realized when I launched into this post. I will break it down amongst several posts with this one just scratching the surface. Maybe that will lead my adoring fans, assuming anyone reads the ramblings of this old dragon, wanting more each day.

Let us then start with definitions. Solitude is being alone and true solitude is being completely alone. Away from other people and dragons, of course, but also away from pets and all but writtecommunicationsns. One can find solitude anywhere, but not enough peoplactuallyly seek it out. Companionship obviously involves others, but ismallal intimate groups. I honestly believe that true companionship only happens one on one and few people have great numbers of companions, though many like to think they do. Community is about larger groups, of less related, more casual people working towards a common goal. This goal doesn't have to be anything special, it could just be making a meal or having fun.

And with that 'ol Jack is going to wrap up for today. For anyone who has been tracking my moods lately, I think this Dragon is on the upswing. We will see what the days ahead have in store. And with that I am off to enjoy some solitude. Though if you are reading this, it would serve a Dragon's ego good to know that he isn't just writing into a black hole.

2005-08-29T09:48:00.000-04:00

Even a Dragon can't hide in a cave forever

Well today's the day that Jack crawls out of his cave and into the sunlight, er the cloud difused sunlight. My island doesn't seem to get direct sunlight anymore and I'm fine with that. Dragons don't need sunlight. We prefer darkness and the moon anyway. So with that said I will proudly step out of my cave. No more moping, pining, or laying around on my treasure trove.

We Dragons are immortal and ironically immoratality comes with enough pain to almost outweigh the benefits. But, we also learn that pain happens, devestation happen, and then we must go on with life. Not that all dragons do this. Some whole up in their caves and grottos for years, decades, centuries until the sleeping dragon becomes part of the very mountain he's hiding out in. This is why there are so few of us left in the world.

But ol' Jack isn't one of those dragons. He's not going to spend immortality in his cave. And he's not going to let the linger sting of his loss cloud his life the way thunderheads obscure his island by the day. No, he's going to step out of his cave, and look to the horizon to embrace the emptiness that is there. I only hope that a thunderstom crashes down upon me, drenching my body though my spirit remains warm and dry.

It is what it is, and Dragons live forever. ..

2005-08-26T08:52:00.000-04:00

Obsessive Compulsive, me?

In a conversation with a friend (yes, dragons have friends) the other day, I was told that I, Jack Dragon, was obsessive compulsive. I'm not sure this bothered me so much as the way the friend tossed it off like everyone knew this was the case, except apparently me. This does not mean that I wash my hands constantly or that I trace the lines of wood grain on the floor. At least not so much. I apparently show it in other ways, like the way I obsess over my treasure and such. I should note, that I am not surprised that nobody has told me before now, my habit of eating people who piss me off makes constructive criticism something I don't hear too often.

Long ago, I had this other friend (that's two friends mentioned in the same post) for a while as well. A sailor who arrived almost alone on a small boat. I think we spent something like a month or two together though it seems like it was years. We bonded pretty well, which to the sailor meant that she was no longer scared of me, and for me it meant I no longer looked on her as food that talked. Anyway, eventually she was called home to a far off place I will never travel to. Her departure was a hurried one before dawn without a goodbye. I doubt I will ever see her again.

So let's bring this full circle. Even though I know that my friend the sailor will never return, I scan the sea several times a day looking for her ship. At night I sometimes build signal fires just in case she's out there and can not find her way. I know that I will almost certainly never see her again, but I do these things anyway. And not just once in a while, but constantly.

I've decided that I'm going to try to stop, ease off a little at a time. I am only prolonging the pain of knowing that she will never return. But even dragons can have dreams. And in my dream I would see her or hear from her just one more time.

My den calls me, back to sleep, to dream.

2005-08-23T14:46:00.000-04:00

Sleeping.....

Ol' Jack just awoke from a long slumber to realize he hasn't posted anything it a while. Well to be honest I've been in my cave sleeping mostly. I'm a dragon, that's what we do. It is dark and cloudy outside and I miss the sun. I shall hope for clear skys, starlight and a full moon tonight, it lifts my heart. I think I shall become nocturnal for what little time I am awake anymore. The constantly cloudy days only depress me.

Back to my cool den and the quiet darkness, I will awake again sooner this time, but sleep calls me. And in my dreams the clouds sometimes clear...

2005-07-31T00:58:00.000-04:00

Back from my Dragon Vacation

Another short post from this old Dragon. I'm back from two weeks of hanging out with mountain dragons in the Andes and the water dragons of the Amazon. It was a great break from my usual dragon business, but this dragon is still happy to be home.

I read several books while I was away, including The Sun Also Rises by Hemingway. Have I mentioned yet that I think that man has streaks of pure genius? Well I do. I read the book once when I was but a young dragonling and it didn't' have much meaning to me. But this time it was so very different.

There were passages of the book where ol' Pappa Hemingway seemed to be speaking right to me. It was like Jack and the Pappa were having a nice long talk. I wouldn't say that he solved any problems I've been dealing with, not that dragons have problems that our appetite can't solve, but he did give me new perspective.

Something to think about while I have a nice long slumber on my treasure trove. And now I will go and have that long dream filled nap that I need to sort things out. I hope that I will find the clear path I need to take before I awake though experience has taught me nothing is ever that easy. I do have more to think about and more paths to chose from and with that I am off to sleep.

I hope the sun will peak from the clouds tomorrow,

Jack

2005-07-20T13:18:00.000-04:00

Live from Cusco, Peru

Jack doesn´t have much time, it is time to eat and dragons arn´t overly verbose when hungry.

Cusco is beautiful, the Incas have spoken to me even though they are much older than I am.

Hemmingway has also spoken through The Sun Also Rises.

More later, it takes a lot of gunea pigs to feed a dragon.

Jack

2005-07-16T16:23:00.000-04:00

Leaving for South America

Well ol' Jack's about to leave for a couple weeks in South America. A Dragon vacation as it were. I need to get away from Dragon business and what's been bothering me in and around my den lately. I will be dropping in on Machu Picchu and am hoping for some kind of spiritual revelation, not that these things happen to old dragons very much. But I could use a little unworldly intervention to help me set things straight in this sad old mind of mine.

The weather has been gloomy and overcast for several days now. This has put me into an unusually dreary mood. But I awoke this morning just knowing that the sun might be out for just a little while. I spent the entire morning arguing with myself, between expecting the sun and insisting that it wasn't going to be out for a long time yet. But the sun did come out, and I enjoyed it, but as it dipped behind the clouds again, I felt that I might just be a fool. Does the sun wait for me, does she miss me when I am in my mountain, does she feel my loss the way I feel hers?

Off to vacation now, I might post from vacation and I might not post until I return. It matters little since the world never feels the loss of a dragon...

2005-07-15T13:18:00.000-04:00

Perfect Moments

This is going to be a short post on a happier topic. I was lounging around my den today when I suddenly took notice of some of the pictures I have framed and nearby. There is one picture in particular that caught my eye. There are six of us, not all dragons I might add, sitting in a tight cluster holding up small cartons of milk and cans of Steinlager, grinning like we just won the lottery. We would later come to call ourselves the Alphabet group after a late night conversation in which we used letters to indicate people rather than names. I could almost relay that particular conversation word for word, now seven years later, but it doesn't matter. It would fail to amuse any, but the people in the picture most of whom I have long sense lost contact with.

This particular picture has always been near and dear to me and my fondness for it only grows with the years. This photo perfectly captures a Moment. That's Moment with a capital M not to be confused with the lower case word that doesn't entirely share the same meaning. There are times in our lives when everything just seems to fall in place, and just for that moment everything is right with the world. These Moments usually involve family or friends and they are often fleeting, over before we recognize it. But when a Moment happens we carry the memory with us for the rest of our lives.

In the movie The Beach, stop the eye rolling it at least had a good message, Richard talks about the true meaning of paradise. It's not a place you go, it's moment in time with the right people. This is why I sometimes refer to these Moments as Paradise Moments sine that is what they are. Paradise is an ideal, not a place. It isn't lost, just well hidden throughout most of our lives and when we find it we often don't even realize it until it is gone. We can not not force a moment to happen, but we can plant the seeds, water it, and keep the weeds out. To do this we simply must live in the moment (that's the smaller case moment) when we are with family or friends. Push the worries aside and enjoy the company in others in its purest sense. The Moments will come.

As for the picture on my shelf, it has been years since I have seen any of those people. Most of them have once again become strangers to me. But I know that each and every one of us lived in that Moment and it won't be forgotten. There are five other copies of the same picture in the same frame somewhere our there. Maybe they are stored away in a box or lost in some corner of someone's home or office. But, I like to think that each one of us comes across the memory of that Moment from time to time and smiles. The Alphabet Group will never inhabit the same space again, but we live in that picture and we live in that moment, forever...

2005-07-14T10:54:00.000-04:00

The Old Dragon and the Sea, part I

I'm a old and wise dragon who's lived more life than my outward appearance might portend. I've seen, experienced and lived enough that not much really phases me anymore. But, every once in a while something that shouldn't be so significant in an old dragon's life throws me entirely off balance. One of these events happened just a few days ago and this dragon is still reeling from the effects while wondering why he didn't see it coming. So what's a dragon to do, read Hemingway of course. Somewhere in the midst of my devastation two books suddenly called to be read again: The Old Man and the Sea, and The Sun Also Rises.

These two books have something very important in common, aside from being written by the same author. When I was much younger, I was told that these books could neither be fully appreciated nor understood by someone of my youth. At the time I scoffed at such remarks and read them anyway, but now looking back I wonder if I did fully appreciate and understand these books. And so it was the The Old Man and the Sea in particular called to me. I picked it up a few days ago in the hope that Papa Hemingway had some wisdom to impart to an old dragon such as myself.

Did the book speak to me directly? No, there was no "hey dragon, I'm talking to you" moment in the book. But there was plenty of situations that made me think and reevaluate my own life and situations. So many in fact that I've decided to break it down to several posts over several days.

The book was about relationships (man/boy, man/sea, man/fish) far more than anything else. The one that struck me the hardest was the one between the old man and the boy. Early on it appeared that the relationship was very much one sided, the boy helped the old man, Santiago, out of pity, but that was not the case. In these odd relationships, between people of wildly different ages or backgrounds, there is always something that each gains from the other. It was obvious that the old man gained help with the physical labor and companionship. And the boy too gained companionship though such things mean less to a boy than an old man (or an old dragon for that matter). But, the boy also gained from the wisdom of the man, even if this wisdom was often imparted through actions rather than words. Towards the end of this book that becomes all the more clear as the boy begings to understand how much knowledge and learning he stands to lose if the old man passes away.

Of course I don't think Papa Hemingway leaves everything that neat and clear cut. There is more to this friendship than just an exchange of companionship for knowledge. The old man is given a window onto a world of youth that he has so long left behind. He can sometimes, just for a moment, bask in what it was like to be so young again. For one who has walked long paths since the days of his youth, this little glimpse into youth can be more treasured than any fish they will catch while on the boat. But in return, he forms an internal, unspoken obligation to teach the boy and impart his wisdom.

And where does the book leave us? The man lays dying having completed the greatest accomplishment of his lifetime. He has channeled every ounce of his strength, his wisdom and his soul into bringing that fish in. Even though the fish is nothing, but a skeleton when the man makes port, it is still his magnum opus, his final exam in life. Santiago has reached the pinnacle of his craft with this catch, but he has also traded his very life in the struggle. And when he sleeps he dreams about his own youth. And so it is, the boy loves the man for the wisdom, while the man loves the boy for that which his wisdom will never give him, youth.

What does the sea and boats and old men and boys have to do with a tired dragon? It reminds one that our wisdom is worth nothing if we do not freely give of it. It reminds this old dragon, that he gains from those glimpses into the windows of youth. In return he obliges himself to impart that wisdom that he can. And he must impart this wisdom without tainting the youth with dragon bitterness. It is not mine to take, only to give...

2005-07-13T11:03:00.000-04:00

The patience of a Dragon

I find it odd that nobody has ever coined the phrase, 'patience of a Dragon'. Because that's pretty much what we do best, have patience. Though I say that and realize that few people either know or appreciate this aspect of our nature.

Dragons tend to be reclusive, rarely allowing ourselves to be seen. When one catches us unaware our first reaction is often one of hunger, and I am not speaking metaphorically here. A dragon's nature is to eat, it is only our overwhelming loneliness that leads us to befriend rare individuals that would otherwise be breakfast. That's where getting to know a dragon can be a very dangerous thing. Even if one makes it by the initial feeding impulse, it's no guarantee that a dragon won't eat you at a latter time. I for one tend not to eat anyone until I have come to know their character. I snack on the bad ones. Those that aren't bad but don't amuse me I run off, leaving precious few that I am willing to befriend.

But once we enter into these rare friendships we dragons tend to bond very tightly. It is entirely mutually beneficial, we have the wisdom of centuries to impart and in return we get that companionship that is missing from a dragons life. But it is always a double edged sword as we know that nothing is permanent. So we take what we can get, revel in every moment and spend our energy committing it all to memory, making little movies in our mind. And my long winded nature takes over again, I still haven't said anything about our patience.

So we dragons make these friendships ignoring the fact that dragons and people are so very different. We are immortal and spend most of our days sleeping or musing amongst our piles of treasure, locked away deep in some mountain cave. Humans have what they call 'a life' which is important I suppose if you are not immortal. So while we dragons would gladly spend a decade squirreled away somewhere talking to our new found friends, this just isn't something that people can do. They visit, we enjoy our time together and they leave to go live their life. While we wait.

Once that bond develops it is difficult to break and difficult to forget. When our friends leave we try to occupy ourselves with counting and organizing our treasure, reading, and tending to our dragon business. We tell ourselves that they will return in a month or whenever, but then we start to set ourselves up for never seeing them again. And we wait, watching the entrance to the cave, or scanning the horizon for a boat long before any boat is expected. We spend long days watching and waiting for any sign that our friend has returned to us. At night we try to tell ourselves that day may never come, that we are being stupid for hoping for it, that we just need to move on, but we can't. Such is the nature of dragons, we are patient because it is all we have, patience and hope...

imy

2005-07-12T12:01:00.000-04:00

Living life like a Bullfighting festival

A strange title for a strange post in a strange dragon's blog. I need to start with some disclaiming otherwise we will get off on the wrong paw, er foot. Normally, we dragons don't care to disclaim, because we are big, mean and deadly. If you don't like what we have to say, well that's not exactly our problem, but I am trying to reach out to people and that requires a more delicate touch, thus the disclaimers.

First and foremost, the philosophy of the Bull fighting festival is not original to Jack Dragon. In fact, I lifted it from Mexico by James Michener. This book is essentially about a three day bull fighting festival and Michener expounds on how the three days of the festival all carry different feelings with them. I've taken this explanation and applied it as a life Philosophy, that part is my own though the original idea is borrowed.

This brings us to the second disclaimer, on bullfighting in general. Many see this as a barbaric sport, but I think it is misunderstood. Having attended a bull fight, not an easy thing for a dragon to do, I learned something that I did not previously know, the bull can win. It doesn't happen often, but when a bull fights very well, the crowd can signal, via waving white cloths, that they would like the bull to 'win'. If the crowd gets their way, the bull will spend the rest of his life living in a nice pasture and siring offspring. Considering that most bulls in the rest of the world end up slaughtered for meat, I think that the chance to fight for a life of leisure and sex is probably the better deal. But then again I might just be thinking like a dragon.

Michener tells us that day two is the best day of a bull fighting festival. On day one we spend our time getting acquainted with our surrounding, learning the schedules and the lay of the land, and meeting new people. On day three we are preparing for departure, saying goodbyes and already thinking about what we must do when we get home. But on day two we know our surroundings, have friends about us and nothing to do but enjoy ourselves. Day two is where we can live in the moment and it is where we make the memories that we will always look back on fondly. And there in lies the life lesson, always live as much as life as possible in day 2.

Now the problem is that we dragons generally live in day 3 while people are often dwellers in day 1. The difference here is one of the nature of being a dragon. We dragons live forever which means that everything, except our lives, will have an end to it. We do not enter into anything, be it a festival, some type of dragon labor (yes we dragons do have work that needs done), or a friendship, without knowing that it will come to end at some point. This can sometimes overshadow everything in that we spend our time preparing ourselves for the end rather than enjoying the time we have. People on the other hand seem oblivious to ends. They spend all there time trying to make things better or railing on the fact that it isn't. And every day spent in day 1 is a day lost from day 2.

And the solution to the problems lies in day 4. Because day 4 will come and spending extra time in day 1 or day 3 will neither delay nor stop this from happening. Day 4 is when we sit back and think about which we have done. Without those day 2 memories, we are left with very little.

And so we come to my advice, live every possible minute in day 2. If you are raising kids (or dragonlings), don't waste all your time trying to make them or everything around them perfect, spend your time enjoying them for what they are in that moment. Don't worry about the fact that they will be starting kindergarten soon, or riding a bicycle, driving a car, or graduation. Rather enjoy them as they are, because when they're no longer kids you won't be able to get that moment back and you won't be fondly remembering your worries or how much time you spent trying to make everything perfect. And here's a hint, neither will they.

So it is with everything else you do. When you go on vacation, leave all the troubles of your real life behind as soon as you step on the plane. You can pick them up when you arrive back at your home airport, along with your luggage, but not a moment sooner. If you are in highschool love it for what it is, and don't dwell on how it's not like middle school or how great college is going to be. In college, forget highschool, but don't think about the real world until you need to. Everything will come to you in time, all you can decide is how to make the memories, those crystal clear flawless moments, that you will keep for a lifetime.

And that is how this dragon lives his life, and it is the rule he trys to use when making friends. Because some friends will last a lifetime, but many will be lost along the way. If you don't know fully what I mean, see my post on being a dragon. I take each friendship and try to spend every moment we have together in day 2. Because day 3 almost always comes, but if I were to spend my time thinking about that, I would have so much less to treasure when it is all gone. And sometimes day 3 comes too fast, and we get kicked in the teeth because we weren't expecting it. But that is why we dragons have our treasure troves and quiet caves to sleep away our pain...

2005-07-11T09:53:00.000-04:00

The name is, Jack, Jack Dragon and this is my blog.

That may seem like an odd name, but we dragons, like most other mythological creatures generally use either our species or genus as a surname. I prefer to stick with genus since the species distinctions amongst dragons generally relate to coloring which I find a bit racist. And my given name is Jack because that's the name I use. Of course given names are generally given, usually by parents, but most dragons aren't very much into the parenting thing. Thus, I was left as an egg by my parents whom apparently had better things to do. I would have liked to know that they at least cared enough to see me through that hatching process, but we dragons can be a callous and indifferent lot even towards our own offspring. I've ended that cycle with my dragonlings who I dote on constantly, but that is another story for another day. For now, the important point is that I was given no name, and so I named myself.

This post was meant to be an introduction to dragons, but I've tangented upon my name, which is probably a perfect segue into a common characteristic in dragons, we can be long winded. That comes from the curse or blessing of living forever. Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be, but that lament too must be saved for another day and another post. It gives us plenty of time to think, and plenty of time to observe, and lots of time to think about what we've observed. Thus when we speak about any given subject we often have much to say. That alone does not make us long winded, but add to that the fact that we have infinite hours in infinite days in infinite years to speak and we often just fail to see the need to edit ourselves down to something more manageable. As you can see I am once again droning on and on. And this is the edited version. As a dragon, I like to try to be brief, but I often fail miserably. Our long windedness is why you don't see many other dragon blogs, because we just can't type fast enough, claws not being designed for such things, to get all of our thoughts down.

Dragons are generally large, old, and pretty terrifying to people who either don't know us or don't understand us. So terrifying in fact that few people ever learn to fully trust us. Of course this probably isn't anyone's fault, but our own. As a species we tend to be mean, and as I already mentioned both callous and indifferent. Even when we are trying to by nice, sometimes accidents occur. Immense beings such as ourselves often accidentally crush our friends when moving about without proper forethought. Those dragons that breath fire, poison and other such hazardous substances often unintentionally injure just by laughing too hard with our muzzles pointed in the wrong direction. I should note, that for my part I am an air breathing dragon. Which means that I am quite people friendly. Though people tend to be scared of me just the same.

Being both immortal and terrifying makes for a pretty lonely existence. We tend not to make friends too often or too easily since friends our just a heart break waiting to happen. Either they give in to their fears, or get bored with us, just stop believing that we exist all together, or are warned away from us by well meaning friends and family. We dragons may be tough and wise, but we have a soft spot for people, which is our greatest weakness. Over the years we learn to shy away from most of them since it is easier to lock our hearts away rather than having them unintentionally broken. It was such a heart-break, narrowly avoided which led this dragon to begin a blog. And that story too, must be left for another time.

There is one more thing I want people to understand about dragons, it's about our treasure troves. Yes, we all pretty much have them, and no they aren't nearly as interesting as people want to think. I am not sure where the misunderstanding started, but that Tolkein fellow didn't help it out with his writing about Smaug and all, but as a general rule our troves do not consist of great wealth. At least not a wealth of gems and precious metals as is often portrayed. We are collectors, and usually collectors of memories more than anything else. Sure there have been a couple of notable hoarders of gold and such, but they are the exception rather than the rule. As an interesting note, if you humans should care to know, the great lost treasures of the Aztecs are not lost so much as squirreled away by one of these treasure loving dragons. They are deep beneath the earth and I doubt they will ever be found by a human. My own treasure trove consists of trinkets, mementos and memories. Photographs of people I have known, bits and pieces of my dragonlings childhood, sea shells, knick knacks, scraps of paper with cryptic writing, books, and memories. These things might look like clutter or litter, but each one holds an important memory, some of these memories I will share here on my blog.

And with that I will end this introduction to dragons. There will be a part II, and possibly even more after that, but for now my claws grow tired and my treasure trove calls for attention.

Jack Dragon